Category Archives: Discoveries

They will always be back

About a week and a half ago I went to buy flowers and found this plaque at the florist’s nearby:

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I laughed out loud and realized how transformational this clever combination of phrases is.

I bought this plaque immediately. I had to have it! To make me smile, but also to remind me of the tricks my mind often plays on me.

When I experience transformation and a worry or an upset resolves, I think: “This is it, I’ve made it! This worry will not come back anymore! I am soooo good!” And so on and so on.

And then five minutes later, usually less, the worrying thought comes back. Often from another and much unexpected angle.

This used to irritate me. But awareness, transformation and many illustrations by Ariel and Shya Kane in their books, seminars and online (http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/ ) helped me to realize that these thoughts are mere pre-recordings from my past life and will always appear when something unexpected is happening.

Life always comes in unexpected ways. So I might as well expect these thoughts appear again and again. They will appear in one form or another. And searching a reason for their appearance will not solve the problems I imagine and associate with them, however my brain will try to convince me otherwise.

This plaque is a true gift, because every time I looked at it during the ten days or so since I have it, it never failed to make me laugh and relax.

I send grateful thoughts to its creator. And hugs and love to all who read this.

Imprints in the heart: Collecting and relieving moments

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process
is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
From the book
“The Gifts of Imperfection:
Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are”
by Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W.

Yesterday I came from a wonderful weekend I spent in Hamburg. I attended two seminars led by Ariel and Shya Kane: “Freedom to Breathe” and “Living a Complaint Free, Drama Free Life”. Both seminars provided many unforgettable experiences.

I noticed my eagerness to share all the wonderful insights I had both during the seminars and also after with my family and friends. I did share some of my experiences, but this sharing started to look more like sharing vacation photographs. I was talking about the past. Close one but past nonetheless.

Thinking of photographs, I recall what one of my dearest friends, who happens to be my mother-in-law, once told me. Both of us and also our husbands were standing on one of the heights of German Alps. All of us were admiring the amazing view. I made some pictures and complained that I would love to take a picture of every detail, but that it was impossible.

I thought my Mom-in-law would suggest using panorama-setting on my photo camera of that time.

Instead she said,

“You can’t take pictures of everything. Enjoy them and keep them here.”

As she said this, she has put her hand on the spot, under which my heart can be found.

This occurrence often comes to mind. The latest today, when I was sorting out some of my notebooks, time planners and calendars from previous years. At least two of them have wonderful pictures and reproductions of paintings on every page. I started looking at every page, seeing if it contained a note or a quote worth keeping. As I looked through the pictures I could not enjoy them fully, because I was sorry for not being able to keep all of them. If I would, they would lie hidden in some drawers or boxes for more years until I completely discarded them, without looking at them again.

As soon as I noticed this complaint and recalled what my mother-in-law advised me, I started looking at the pictures with the only purpose to enjoy them. And suddenly the heaviness of regret disappeared and I simply let the pleasant imprints settle in my heart. From here it was easy to put the already viewed pictures away and move further.

One thought led to another and I realized that the same is with pleasant memories. If we try to keep them and hold on to them by telling about them again and again to all who want and don’t want to listen, then this will not be different than showing holiday photographs repeatedly to visiting relatives and friends. We can’t keep all the insights imprinted in our memories. Even recording them down would not enable a true reproduction of the wonderful experiences we had. But we can collect these wonderful imprints in our hearts, enjoy them and let go.

Picture: Wonderful view from the hotel room I had while in Hamburg. I don’t remember the things I thought, which prompted me to take this picture. I only remember that they were pleasant and inspiring with a tiny hint of sadness, which I could not explain. Maybe I was sad about the near end of the weekend and the seminars. Maybe I was sad of not being able to hold on to each experienced moment, to each pleasant one. I don’t know. The only thing I know now is that this sadness was sweet and soothing. I smile while writing this.

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The colors of the soul

There are times when I don’t like my thoughts. I even remember hating some of them and fretting the fact I had them.

The following quote made me fill my lungs full with air and breathe out with relief:

“Denn von den Gedanken nimmt die Seele ihre Farbe an.“     Mark Aurel

Interpretation:

„They are thoughts that give the soul its color. “     Mark Aurel

This quote and also the work by Ariel and Shya Kane and what they say about including all we done, experienced, thought and not resisting all that, helped me appreciate all the crazy, wonderful, strange, and many other thoughts I had. I understand now that all we have lived through, including thoughts, doings, our Yes’s and No’s, everything, which happened to us and with us so far, brought us to where we are today.

And I do like where I am today. And I like more and more including my thoughts, not resisting them but accepting them as part of my life. Not as something strange and extraterrestrial as I sometimes did in the past and might do in the future. I will just let myself be surprised what things can come to my mind. After all, I know now that I am capable to choose and bring to life some of the thoughts and dreams I have, and I am able to smile kindly at the other and let them be.

I will finish this post with the quote from Audrey Hepburn I rediscovered yesterday:

“Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.”

Picture: A selfie I made a few weeks ago. Using Audrey Hepburn’s words she said about herself, I am saying about myself: “I’ve decided I’m not so bad after all.”

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On a constant hunt

Have you ever experienced a situation, which didn’t let you go for some time after it happened?

About a month ago I was walking down a pedestrian street in Aalborg with my husband and somebody caught my attention. A handsome blond man with big blue eyes was walking along many other people in the opposite direction to us and was staring at me. He was probably one of those young students who have an extra job to earn some additional money with distributing various prospects on various products to the passers-by. He had a number of such leaflets in his hands but he forgot to distribute them. He was just staring at me.

I was confused and looked at my husband who didn’t notice the man. Michael smiled at me. “So, nothing wrong with my face or appearance, if Michael smiles,” I concluded.

I sought in my memory if I knew the man. I couldn’t find any hint or any face that would remind me of him.

He long passed by while I was still searching in my head. He also didn’t try to talk to me. So, who knows why he stared at me for that short time. Maybe I reminded him of someone. I will never know.

But my thoughts were coming back again and again to this man and his look at me. This started worrying me. Why was I thinking of this man? My relationship to my husband is as harmonic as one could wish for. We have our ups and downs, but we take care of each other and are honest with each other. Being best friends and lovers at the same time helps a lot.

But, this man. Why was I thinking of him again and again? And then it hit me: “He is one of the main characters for one of my future novels!” It will be actually a sequel and I have a rough story for each of the books as well as the protagonist, a young woman in her twenties-thirties. But the love of her life was a bit diffuse. Until that moment. I always thought that he would be dark eyed and dark haired like my husband and also my childhood ideas for the most handsome man (although I did fall in love with or had a crush on men of very varying appearances in between: blond, bald, blond and bald, bald and dark, dark and not bald, grey and red haired, etc.). But I was wrong, her love is blond and has big blue eyes. And she will meet him when he will be handing out leaflets on the street and forget to hand them out because he would be simply swept by her sight.

As soon as I had this idea, the man stopped “hunting” me in my thoughts. And at this moment I realized something. Many people do stare at me and others time to time. But we don’t notice everyone staring at us. Not every awkward or funny situation catches our attention. For a writer, the situations or people catching our attention and not leaving are most probably the “writing material” and already inhabit our writing world, even if we don’t realize it at first.

Conclusion: I am a writer, so my mind is on a permanent hunt for characters, settings and scenes.

And this was true before I became aware of this and even before I started writing regularly a year and a half ago.

As soon as I realized this I relaxed a lot and enjoyed my attention being caught by various people and situations. I have walked by another young and handsome man in a Santa Claus costume, in the middle of August. I couldn’t stop smiling at the whole situation, seeing him walking down the street alone in his red hat and jacket, without a beard. He grinned back and said hello. I answered.

This was after my discovery of the permanent hunt, so I immediately started considering if his appearance would be closer to the love of my protagonist. The Santa Claus was also blond and blue-eyed, but he was much taller and his eyes were not as big as of the “leaflet” man. And the answer came: “No, the Santa Claus will be a minor character, but he will influence the way my protagonist and her love interact with each other and finally come together.” The scenes started to evolve. I hurried with a happy pace home and wrote down these ideas.

I guess, this is how it has always been. Stories and situations hunt us and catch our attention and then we are eager to tell them. Centuries ago story-tellers set on stones and benches and told the stories to anyone who would listen. Today, in the hurried world, these stories are rather recorded than told. But the process is still the same. It is just that sometimes we take these situations too personally and think that we did something wrong. But all it is about, is that there is a constant hunt: we hunt the stories that bring our creativity and us further and stories hunt us to be brought to life.

Enjoy the hunt, everyone! You might be living an exciting story right now! Actually, I am sure you are. Just look around.

Pictures: Five brilliant settings, all at the same place: Tivoli in Copenhagen. So many ideas are whirling in my head.  🙂

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Gifts of sharing one’s writing

Today is a day of a very short post. I looked through some of my notes and found one I have written in an e-mail to my niece and my sister in April this year. Here it comes:

It’s fun to see how an idea turns into a snowball and ignites very nice, cute, crazy, sweet and unexpected associations and ideas in others. This is a true award of sharing one’s writing.

I am grateful to all who read my blog! It has been amazing to be able to share my writing with you and get a lot of encouraging feedback and inspiring thoughts.

Picture: One of nature’s gifts to us. A never seen abundance of yellow boletus on the outskirts of the troll forest nearby.

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