Category Archives: Contemplations

A braided day

June 1, 2015Contemplations, Discoveriesvica

Multitasking was “in” several years ago. And since it didn’t work for many, concentrating on one task or uni-tasking is more and more appreciated and emphasized today.

I must admit that I sometimes confuse uni-tasking for doing one thing the whole day or at least for the biggest part of it. This misconception does lead me into upsets and being annoyed on all kind of interruptions including from inside, like hunger, thirst etc.

Today was one of the days when I became aware of this behaviour on my part. So I started a game with myself naming all the jobs and/or activities I was practicing today. Here are some of them (please, don’t take them too seriously or literally):

Day-care provider for my six-month-old daughter,
Entertainer for my children,
Santa-Claus on the International Children’s Day,
Cook for my family,
Cleaning personnel,
Moving specialist (unpacker) with inner design skills (applicable probably only to our home),
Writer,
Editor of technical content,
Job searcher,
Home owner showing the building company specialist, which small quirks in our house are to be corrected,
Travel manager assistant (within family),
Laundry master,
Knowledge manager (in our new home, where to find what 😉 ),
Etc.

Some of the activities were done and finished. But most of them were started, interrupted by another one, mainly by the very first one in the list above, and then done again.

If I smiled at this “chaos”, then it became productive; if I complained, the space around me darkened, in spite of the bright shiny day today.

Fortunately, the complaints were often exchanged with wonder at all the surprises the life had for me in tow and how my plans for several hours up front were always overthrown.

So, during one of the washing/cleaning activities, I think it was while drying Emma’s bottles, I tried to imagine a pattern for my day it could symbolize. Braids came immediately to mind. I considered the alternative of mosaic but realized that some of the activities were not granular but continued after being interrupted, and if I took care of and time for them then the “hair” inside was smooth and “obedient” and braided nicely into a clean arc.

You might ask, what this kind of symbol is good for. Well, it helped me to visualize my day and seeing it as a braid made it pretty, not an ugly and miserable experience of chaos as I often had in the past.

Then, in the past, I often considered only one activity as worthy and important, so that I consequently and subsequently thought: “I didn’t manage anything today!” But when I made the list above today, the only thing I had to say was “Wow. Not bad at all!”

I am sure most of us juggle tens of activities in job, family and many other areas. And we complain that we don’t make any progress in what is supposedly our preferred occupation.

But isn’t one step forward fun in itself?! Because it brings us further. Every step is a step forward, because we can learn from any of our experiences, even when being tired and irritated. But only if we take a step back, disengage from those feelings and consider them in a nonjudgmental way.

Then we are free to choose the next step without any pressure of achievement or fear what others would say.

Picture: I must say that I am in awe again and again that our house, the way it is today, was built upon the design decisions and adjustments by my husband and me. That we were who made it possible. Here you can see how it looked from outside about a week ago. Now the garden and terraces are taking shape. All of this was and is done one step at a time. In a very braided manner. Also when not done by us.

Trial and error

May 26, 2015A mother's diary, Contemplations, Favorite quotesvica

Unpacking into a new home can be quite revealing. Seconds after I think a cupboard or a case is readily filled in and in order I find more things to put into it and things to be sorted out. No end of possibilities to change the arrangements, although my brain tries to find the final arrangement for all times.

The quotes below made me smile and reminded that experimenting is definitely worth it and never wrong.

From blog post by Elizabeth Gilbert on September 25, 2014 (said by her mother and quoted by Liz in her blog) :
“You can only make the best choice possible, based on what you know RIGHT NOW. Later, you may know more. Then you may be tempted to judge yourself harshly for the decision you made today. But decide right now to forgive yourself in advance for what you did not know — and could not know — today. So make your decision, and move on.”

From “Don’t Squat With Yer Spurs On! A Cowboy’s Guide To Life” by Texas Bix Bender, p. 29
“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

Pictures: (1) Trial and error can be so sweet. One of the Emma’s first attempts to turn from her back to belly ended up with her being rolled up into a Niklas’s old play blanket. (2) One of the first arrangements on my new desk. I am curious to see how it will evolve with time. I suspect only one constant. A coffee cup will always be present.

Faults, wrinkles and limits: four quotes showing these in a different light

May 11, 2015Contemplations, Favorite quotesvica

Moving houses means also going through great amounts of things one gathered over the years. One of my favourite treasures I found while packing our home are multiple tiny, medium and big notebooks full of notes and quotes.

Many of the quotes, I captured and saved, made me laugh as I rediscovered them. Especially those from inspirational and mood-uplifting calendars and books, often by an unknown author. Here are four of these in German and Danish with my interpretation in English:

“Ich habe keine Macken, das sind special Effects.”
Interpretation: “I have no faults. These are special effects.”

“Wenn du morgens zerknitter aufwachst, kannst du dich tagsüber wunderbar entfalten!”
Interpretation: “When you wake up all in a bad and wrinkled-crinkled mood, you have a great possibility to unfold during the day.”

“Alles sagten: ‘Das geht nicht’. Dann kam einer, der wusste das nicht und hat’s einfach gemacht.”
Interpreation: “All said, ‘This won’t work’. Then someone came who didn’t know this and simply did it.”

“Ham, der ved alt … har em masse at lære.”
Interpretation: “The one who knows everything, has a lot to learn.”

Picture: When flowers unfold, they bloom.

P.S. Wishing all readers of this post a happily unfolding day full of discoveries, re-discoveries and light-bulb moments.

A stormy brain learns to trust her first drafts

April 26, 2015Books I write, Contemplationsvica

I am a big fan of brainstorming. I even used to talk about brainstorming with myself. And I do brainstorm with myself a lot. Generating plenty of ideas before being able to develop them further. “I could do this, and I could do that. And that would be great. Or maybe that!” Does this sound familiar?

Last week I read an article that made me stop and contemplate. The article was about how and why the “Brainstorming Does Not Work”.

The idea in this article is that when you brainstorm in a group, you have a pressure of a group with no space to contemplate and develop this particular idea. Some studies and experiences revealed that the quality of the ideas, or rather ideas with solutions are better when developed by a solitary person having time to ponder on the idea and solution.

At the same time of this discovery and a light-bulb-experience, I observed something interesting about my way to write my second book. I did have the same experience during the first book, but I became very aware of it now and saw how it changed when I started trusting my initial creation. That is to trust my very first draft.

I write my books by hand. This was true for at least half of my first book and true for the second book in its full, or at least what I have written so far (about 3/4 are written). Then after some time, I type what I have written by hand. For example, I am writing Chapter 29 by hand now and typing Chapter 23 (having some of the later thirty-something chapters hand-written already as well).

What I noticed is that while typing, my brain generates new text prompted by sentences I type. I start modifying my first draft on-the-fly. Typing further I often discover that I had this same idea already, but in different and often better shape. Or that there is some other piece of text, which makes much more sense than this new idea.

Now, having discovered this article about brainstorming not being always that good, I start to understand what could be happening. My inner critic suggests subtly that my first draft is bad and that something new has to be generated. But this new text doesn’t have enough time to ripe as the initial, very first and hand-written draft, which flowed in one piece at the time of writing.

All these simultaneous revelations made me become curious about my first drafts and not to correct them too much. I still do slip into the correcting mode time to time, like today, having this brilliant idea to refer to old Italian movies with Sophia Loren, only to discover that I did this already in the first draft, but a bit later in the scene. The solution to this was getting the referee in my brain, who found the third option bringing peace between the inner critic and the initial originator of the first draft.

But in spite of this slipping, or maybe because I am aware of it now, I start being more detached and less personal about what I have written in the first place. Less proprietary and less worried, more curious about what was written and what kind of story emerges out of the first scribblings.

I must say, I enjoy the writing process more and more after discovering this. I now trust my first drafts to contain some gems, however hidden.

Picture: Talking of hidden gems. My sweet Emma loves falling asleep with her favourite cuddly toys close by.

Driven by curiosity

April 21, 2015Contemplations, Favorite quotesvica

Last week I noticed that I loved the word “curious”. And this week I discovered a whole post about curiosity by one of my favourite authors.

I am a big fan of Elizabeth Gilbert. Both as a writer and as a person. I read almost every of her posts on Facebook and share many of them.

This Monday’s post was about a quote from her upcoming book “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”, to appear on September 22 this year. This quote is about passion versus curiosity.

“Passion can seem intimidatingly out of reach at times – a distant tower of flame, accessible only to geniuses, and to those who are specially touched by God. But curiosity is available to everyone.”

I can confirm this. I remember deciding many times in my life what my one and only and definite passion was, only finding out that I was searching for something else.

Here is what Liz wrote in the chat on this post:

“I feel like the word “passion” is yet another word (like “balance”) that women are using as weapons against themselves these days — I think that word can fill people with fear that they aren’t living their lives right. I always prescribe a search for curiosity, instead…it’s so much kinder!”

Yes, curiosity is much kinder. And now as I think back, it is definitely driven me on my way. Although, I used to think it was my passion. Now I am sure, it was curiosity.

I have tried many different hobbies and occupations. For hobbies I tried painting, cooking, knitting, crocheting, hand-crafting fashion jewellery, learning and teaching languages. Always driven by curiosity and eagerness to try something new, where the latter has it roots in curiosity, too.

And I loved all of these activities as well as many of the different jobs I done along the way. They covered among other teaching, marketing, physics, electronics engineering, consulting, quality assurance, programming and technical writing.

I discovered that I loved many aspects of the housework as well. I discovered I loved ironing and tidying up, finding new ways in arranging furniture, books, things around our home.

Curiosity led me to try new recipes. After finding out about my food intolerances, curiosity was the one to guide me out of initial despair. First, I wondered what other people did in my situation and started researching this. Then I became curious to find and be able to create something tasty and something new in what was acceptable for and by my body.

Now I understand, we can have varying passions, some with long and some with short lives, as well as several or many passions simultaneously. Passion for family and friends, passion for music, passion for art, passion for work and housework, passion for nature, sports, tasty meal, reading, writing, and many other.

And curiosity is the guide on our multidimensional way.

Here is another quote from Liz’s post:

“A curiosity-driven life is a beautiful thing. Following your curiosity begins a scavenger hunt that can lead you to amazing places…

It might even lead you to your passion.”

Curiosity ignited my passion for reading. My sister is eight years elder than I and as a young adult I was eager to try and learn many of what she did. I started reading the books she read. “The Ladies’ Paradise” by Emile Zola was one of them. It hooked me immediately. After this book I wanted to read more by Zola. I was both in awe of his virtuosity with story and words, but also disappointed by darkness of some of his short stories. So, I switched to other authors and found many that captivated me. But “The Ladies’ Paradise” and my curiosity to find out why my sister liked it was the start of my reading addiction.

Reading made me curious and wondering whether I could write as well. And I discovered I could. I discovered I simply loved writing and that my curiosity was ever growing about this very special and exciting world.

Pictures: Here is the fourth quote from the post, which impressed me in its entirety:

“Curiosity is the little voice that asks you to turn your head a quarter of an inch and look a bit closer at something.”

I took these photographs as I turned my head a quarter of an inch to the right and looked at the side-mirror on the way to our Easter vacation to Germany this year. I discovered a beautiful multiple reflection of a cloudy sky.